As a straight Jewish woman dating mostly Jews in New York City, I crowd-sourced this list from personal experience and from other young Jews who are dating or used to date in the city — male and female, gay and straight, single and married. Here are the 16 types of people you will date if you seek out Jewish men in New York City, written from a place of deep affection for Jewish men.
Trying to stick to the Keto diet.
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Believes if given the necessary power he could solve the Israeli-Palestinian crisis. Listens to Pod Save America. He eats at non-kosher restaurants, but only dairy.
Lives with eight men in a seven-bedroom apartment in the Heights, and all of them are studying at Hadar. The Ramah Guy Won color wars. Has read all the biographies of all the prime ministers of Israel. Cries when his team loses. Forgets to vote in national elections. So serious that he brings tefillin on your date so he can daven shacharis after he sleeps over at your apartment. You should probably order a salad. Just so you know!!! Claims to have read Rebecca Solnit. Prefers women who are five feet tall.
The Good-looking, Respectful Orthodox Professional: Whoops too late — married to that gorgeous girl whose Instagram you follow. Second child on the way. Just not ready to date seriously yet.
Always volunteers to make kiddush on Friday nights. My punishment from the matchmakers for having an opinion was that I was permanently removed from all the online matchmaking sites as they all are operated on the same platform because I did not want to go with this one man.
Trying to be open-minded and not superficial, I revisited a one man I had not given enough of a chance mostly because he was local, that was the biggest mistake of my recent online dating cycle. We had nothing really in common all he was interested in fundraising for his business venture including from me, talking about himself, and bad mouthing everyone else.
The more I did not want to go with this man the more his matchmakers, who were personal friends of his, forced him literally down my throat to the point that they were stalking me. I complained and instead of reprimanding the man or his matchmakers, sexism and favoritism towards the man prevailed, and I was the one thrown off because the matchmaking site said, since I am not comfortable I should not be on the site. Therefore, the receptionist at the call center decided my online dating fate by erasing my profiles and locking me out on the entire Jewish matchmaking network.
I was a victim being punished just as the MeToo movement was exploding. No one should be blocked from a Jewish matchmaking for marriage site because he or she did not want to go with someone, it is the most personal decision. In this intermarriage climate, these sites should be doing everything possible to ensure every Jew willing should be able to marry another Jew.
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Afterward, I tried private matchmakers but in my area, if you are looking for someone outside the ultra-Orthodox world they are a thing of the past. Most personal matchmakers are in the ultra-Orthodox world where matchmaking is the normal way of getting a partner for marriage. For someone of my religious observance, I am too religious to intermarry and not religious for the ultra-Orthodox community.
I tried contacting the limited few in my city. I was looking for him to be my savior, we talked, I explained what I went through, he told me to send my profile then crickets. It is sad that even matchmakers resort to ghosting.
Matchmakers and rabbis have an obligation, duty, and moral responsibility to help a Jewish single find a Jewish spouse. The stakes are higher and matchmakers cannot afford to play games, everyone they ignore or discourage is another young Jew they might lose to intermarriage.
The way Jewish online dating and matchmaking is set up and the potential dating pool only discourages a Jewish single even more. Online dating even in the Jewish world with a religious mission is still at heart a business about making money. The dating sites try to lure one to pay their subscription only to be disappointed once one is signed up.
Neither should the prices be so high for what is a religious obligation for matchmakers and rabbis to do a mitzvah. Most of the men on the dating sites expect to have the women pay for them, host them, pay for business ventures, or support them financially. Another deficit, if you are not a rich Jewish single your chances of getting help from any matchmaker is virtually non-existent. There is a lot of preaching and concern about intermarriage but when it comes to help, there is none.
Since I have been completely left out of the Jewish matchmaking world, I am going to make a public call looking for a nice and normal Jewish man. I challenge any matchmakers to go beyond their prejudices against single women in their thirties, their unfounded criticism of appearance, and reliance on fees and dowries to help me:. Highly educated, intellectual, artistic, petite, relative good-looking and moderately religious female in her mid-thirties looking for a nice, normal, equally career-minded relative good-looking moderately religious Jewish male.
A man, who respects a woman and considers a woman an equal partner. A co-star rather than a supporting actress to his star billing. A man who loves animals because people open to animals are more loving, considerate and compassionate all good qualities in a potential partner. A man who stands on his feet and is not looking for a woman to support him just because of his gender. A moderately religious man, who appreciates and observes the Shabbat and the holidays but without fanaticism, who equally lives in the secular world and all it has to offer.
A man understands that a woman also wants to observe the religion put live in the secular world in every way, from career, hobbies, to the way she dresses. A man who loves and appreciates Israel and is open to aliyah. A man who wants to compromise and share a view with a woman for the future not imposes it. Otherwise, I am looking for a mensch, unfortunately, it should not be a tall order but somehow it has become that in the Jewish community.
Wanted nice and normal Jewish man, do they even exist?
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